Doulas Gone Wild

Dear Uterus, thanks.

2009-12-16T11:20:00.000-08:00

After years of attending births in the hospital I began to feel myself sink into the gravity of hospitalized birth. I couldn't stand to hear another resident say, "we don't see that you are progressing the way we would expect," and offer some drugs.

Then there would be these clear moments, reminders of how significant birth is. These usually happened at home with a woman in the middle of the night when there was only she and I awake in the world. And in her bathroom, mostly in the dark, there would be clarity of how truly significant that moment was, cluing into the richest aspect of birth.

So, as life does, I was offered an apprenticeship with a homebirth practice. It actually happened one night at Rainbow Grocery among the vegetables. Nancy said, "Are you ready?" and my answer was yes. Now I am attending homebirths. Here I am renewing my appreciation for the uterus and all it does. I am loving the gusto of placentas as they swish full steam under my doppler. These babies born at home brighten as we welcome them. And man, there is nothing like a woman about to push her baby out. It assures me we are wild animals.

Dear reader, things are changing.

after shocks

2009-03-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

This night a few years back I was called to a homebirth out in the Excelsior. I let myself in through the front door and slipped off my shoes. I turned my ringer off and could hear a woman. It was dark and before I entered the room I recognized the music. This was when Brightblack's Ala.cali.tucky had just come out. As I entered that room, fire blazing in hearth, thought this is what it is all about. This is why we do it at home.

the vast range of normal

2009-03-16T16:42:00.000-07:00

A week and a half or so ago I was with a friend. This was a special birth for a million reasons, but just one of those was that she was 42 weeks and a day over her date and labor magically began, finally. She was rolling through her waves, the way we do, and she said, "this is harder than other people's labor!"She was shocked that this is what it feels like. "This is how we do it," I said. For this mama, the surrenderings we commonly talk about were clear delineations of change. And we are not talking dialation here. The change was in her body and her breathing, the way she moved. We tackled some of the big misconceptions. If you are the same dialation at two exams, does that mean there is no change? There was clearly change. So no, totally different exams. The range of normal is so vast. And she brought it: her courage, will, patience, change. It was authentic and beautiful. She was incredible. And calling on her inner Amazonian, she caught her own baby while standing above the room of us. It was truly awesome. This one brought me to sobs.

...and then twenty minutes later my phone rang. Another babe was coming.

I was pale and running on empty. This was nine at night, after being up all the night before for the earlier mama. I thank dear adrenaline here for pulling me together. I called a cab and ran. The mama was incredible. We walked into the hospital and she threw open the double doors, gave a hollering push in the hall, and bolted into the elevator. She knew what she needed to do: she needed to push her baby out. The energy coming from this woman was thunder and lightening. Her bag broke with such intensity that the nurse down the hall heard it. In spite of a shift change, a doula running on empty and an unfamiliar doctor, she was able to summon the power to have her birth with presence, grace and strength. In less than three hours this babe was born into his papa's waiting hands. Then quiet came into the room. Her placenta finished it's profusion. This babe was bright and beautiful.

Then I went home and fell into bed, nearly too tired to believe it all. I have the greatest job in the world.

birth as we know it

2009-02-07T10:37:00.001-08:00

Birth is a common and fantastic occurrence. It's a creative process. It's an opening of body, heart and mind. It's the birth of a baby, a placenta and a mother. And since we only have a couple of shots at it, why not make it amazing?

I am a birth doula in San Francisco and here I intend to demystify birth.